The Disappearing M/s Relationship
By Master Jan, House of Decorum
As our Master/slave relationships continue over time we find that one of two things tend to happen. We either become relaxed tending to overlook the protocols that were an important part of our lives or we have incorporated our protocols for so long that they are all second nature and need no conscience effort. Either way, we feel that our M/s relationship has disappeared.
In the first of the two, that is what has happened. We have forgotten who and what we are and we fall back into our vanilla lives.
In the second of the two, we are very much still in our structured relationship but it is so common to us that we no longer see it or feel it. We start to believe that we have lost it when we really haven’t.
So how do we overcome the Disappearing M/s? How do we bring back the life and the spirit of our lifestyle? Is it possible to live this way for years to come or is it only temporary?
Take a look at your relationship. How do you rate it?
- a) We are thriving in our power exchange
- b) We are comfortable in our power exchange
- c) We are relaxed in our power exchange
- d) We are barely active in our power exchange
- e) We are missing our power exchange
- If your answer was “a”, chances are your relationship is still somewhat new. It is like any new relationship where the fireworks are still sparkling and excitement of something new is still upon you.
- If your answer was “b”, then you are at a good stage in your relationship. A solid bond between 2 people should be comfortable and comforting.
- If your answer was “c”, be careful. Getting too relaxed means that we sometimes forget to take notice of the little things we do for each other and that is when we tend to start taking things for granted.
- If your answer was “d”, now is the time to re-evaluate your relationship and start putting some spark back into it. Try changing up the protocols a bit. Create new rituals or schedule more play time. You may want to try new things with each other as well.
- If your answer was “e”, think about why you are missing it. Is it because it no longer exist or does it exist but has become common place. Either way it is time for some newness in your lives.
How can you recognize if your relationship has lost the power exchange or become common place?
- Review your protocols and figure out which ones are being followed and which ones have been forgotten.
- Discuss it with your partner. They may see it differently from you.
- If you find your protocols are still being followed but you no longer realized it then they are common place.
- If you find they are not being followed then they have faded out.
What can we do to revive things to a more noticeable level?
- Create new greetings and rituals.
- Take notice and start commenting on protocols that are being followed. Thank you and a smile never grows old.
- Change some protocols around a bit making them more of a conscience effort.
- Re-negotiate your protocols. One or both of you may want them to be a little stricter to remind you they are there.
- Practice more formal protocols at events or gatherings.
Relationship revival is important in any relationship. Relationships become relaxed to the point that it loses something and that is when problems enter in. By bringing it back to life, you have given each other more to look forward to.
When a slave feels that their Master isn’t Mastering them anymore, or a Master feels that the slave doesn’t revere them anymore then the head space is lost and the “needs” we have for this way of life become empty. Take notice, remember why we are here and how we began, and be the Master and slave we intended to be.